On Round Smooth Stone

Hi all-

"i was standing in a red-lit room
near the front of the mirror
we were all playing dress-up
going topless but throwing on a blazer
and everybody was looking at themselves
in a big corner mirror.

and i wondered why anybody would
want to do that
when there is a perfectly good kitchen door
that you can prop yourself up in
if you stand sideways and push with your legs
like a caver

and i wondered why they were looking at themselves
when it was me who actually exercised
and ate right
and lived healthy
well, in most ways
they were all looking at his abs
which had seen too many crunches and
not enough heavy lifting
(i'm speaking of the emotional sort as well here)

i used to wonder if the people at the mirror then
could get though eating a bowl of cereal
without staring at the glassy milk until it spoiled
and i realized that climbing the kitchen was
much more fun than the blazer was

eventually i skipped the scene
like a round smooth stone over the water
only not leaving any ripples on the mirror
(because heaven forbid)
it was more like i
bounced

and i got used to the awkward silence
and i got used to the being alone
and i got used to the $10 DVD as boyfriend
and i got used to the late night runs
and then i got used to being on my own
and then i got used to the peeps who gave a shit
and then i got used to the laughter
and being ok with being
a round smooth stone

and i still don't really look at the only mirror in my place
except to brush my teeth
to get out all that cereal
because baby i'm eating three bowls a day
with my eyes wide closed."

-A